Mumblings Of a Wandering Soul

           Here is a review of a movie I saw (recently). This review wasn’t done by me, nor do I know the author- I received this in a mail. This is being posted because I do have similar opinions- and I can only dream of writing something like this; something full of humorous sarcasm. I declare that the words are not mine, and I claim no rights over the intellectual content. But if you think the idea portrayed by this post isn’t true, then I’m ready to defend each and every word of it. Go ahead.

          “Sawaariya is one long song with some breaks for dialog. And by dialog I mean girly giggling by the chic and some punch-me-in-the-face expressions accompanied by pig-like grunting by the hero. One wonders if all the actors are the props and the set is the real star in this movie. I came really close to concluding that the bridge-over-the-fake-river is the central star of the movie, because everyone of the other actors looks like they were made of rock. And the rocks had moss growing over them. And the rocks were painted blue.

          To say Saawariya is a crappy movie would not be correct. Horrendously Ridiculous comes close, but it doesn’t really capture the essence of the absurdity that this movie is. After watching this movie I felt like tying up Sanjay Leela Bansali alone in a room, forcing him to watch a cockroach chase a spider round-and-round a water fountain for 3 hours.  

          That too in blue light.  

          Seriously, that’s what this entire movie is. Its two grossly untalented kids, who probably got kicked out of college for lack of attendance and ended up on this set to spend the rest of the day. And for the love of God, I can’t figure out why the whole movie is in blue! Maybe the director was trying to get every frame half-black half-blue so that the WinZip compression would work better to save some electrons, what with all the global warming and all. That’s the best explanation I could come up with, because nothing else can explain the lack of daylight (or plain light, for that matter) in this movie.“

         This was the first Bansali movie I saw; and I’m away from the man’s works for life. Even the die-hard romanticist among us will yawn at least thrice during the course of the movie. The way he wasted Salman Khan is unforgivable. Rani tries to get some much-needed light into the movie, but the blueness of the movie is way too much for a single person to handle.

          Please DO avoid it.